B’s Keys – Week 6 vs. Panthers

My name is Brett and I somehow put this whole thing together.  Seahawks podcast, poorly designed but kind of functional website, and the capability to maintain a tenuous relationship with whatever creative outlets I have left; its all here.  Oh I also write sometimes and the Seahawks play this week.


Relationships are complicated, difficult, beautiful, and painful. A series of complex interactions with many moving parts.   No matter how glorious, awful, tenured, brief, or transitory; they are all unique.  Often you can’t even explain why you care so much at the start or why  you don’t care more to avoid the end.

Every relationship reaches a point where the routine interactions that most can expect to accomplish at a healthy rate become tedious. Are there going to be crowds, I just had a rough day, I don’t like to eat at that place any more, the kids shit was a funny shape today and I just can’t deal with anything else.  These thoughts take center stage instead of enjoying time together.  It wears on you.  You used to look forward to the weekend because it offered a respite from the doldrums of responsibility.  Now it just seems so trite.  Occasionally new people offer sun breaks from the overcast.  The newness seems so fresh and filled with so much promise.  The old seems even more broken and dysfunctional.  The core doesn’t seem to attract the good things in anyone anymore.  Eventually that is jettisoned too, often for no good reason at all.

In spite of everything there is an x factor. That unifying idea that can make all the other minor issues seem less painful and over time, simply unimportant. The Seahawks need to call a sitter, leave their cell phones in the kitchen, crawl under the sheets, and fuck away their problems.

Key 1 – “You really want me to make some noise? Then noise you shall see.”

The Seahawks need to get back to their version of loud, a little bit to angry, everything is great and we don’t give a shit about waking up the neighbors type of sex that they were known for.  The type of football that would cause Pete Carroll to strut down the sidelines, give his best Rick Flair impression, and encourage his players to celebrate the same way.  They’ve tried the last few games, but something seems off.  Barking non nonsensical epithets of intimidation at opponents have been replaced with arguing with each other on the field after blown coverage and miscommunication.

All hope is not lost, but to really discover who they are and get back to the good times they’ll need to take a few days off from work and try some of the freaky shit they’ve been too afraid or distracted to try lately.

Key 2 – “Alright, same rules as last time: No catching feelings. I’m damaged goods, so you will have my body but you will not have my heart. Please don’t expect it.”

Maybe this relationship with these people just can’t be saved.  They all mean well but that doesn’t always guarantee satisfaction.  They could pour everyone a glass of that world famous Seahawks Cold Blooded Brew football and still lose, effectively ending their chance of a dance with the devil in January.  If that happens, we should all consider taking a long walk around the block, hugging our loved ones, and silently lamenting the loss of a promising season while we cry ourselves to sleep.

Key 3 – “You’re gonna pull that Bruce Lee shit with me I’ll steal that sword from you like a goddamn child and fuck you with it.”

You want to believe the person you fell in love with will never change.  The brash, brazen, cocky, confident person with the razor sharp wit that can never be dulled.  The person who could make your heart leap out of its chest or make you learn to appreciate the subtle qualities in them and yourself.  Of course they could make you laugh too.  They still seem the same, they are probably just stressed or had a bad day at work.  You want to be reminded of what you fell for in the first place, if only for a few more months, because you know it won’t last forever.

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